


six geese a-laying

by oversized_child (Hell_on_Wheels)



Series: 12 Days of Christmas [6]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Alcohol, Bad Cooking, Body Worship, Cooking, Cooking?, Daddy Kink, Domestic Fluff, Eggnog, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, I Don't Even Know, I'm Going to Hell, I'm Sorry, Mixing drinks, Pet Names, Smut, Someone stop me, YouTube, Youtuber AU, failing at cooking pt. 2, i kid you not my face is currently a total tomato
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-26 20:02:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17148227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hell_on_Wheels/pseuds/oversized_child
Summary: The couple cooks again.(But this time they upload it to YouTube)





	six geese a-laying

**Author's Note:**

> Smut after the line.

**DISASTER DUO COOKING S1•E1**

Eggnog  
Clearly Clarissa  
New

 _Click_.

"Hello there, and welcome to a new series!" Clarissa's bright face shone through the screen. "I'm, of course, the fabulous Clearly Clarissa" - a few social media handles popping up - "Joined by my hermit of a boyfriend that some of you may have glimpsed if you're an avid fan. Introducing...Michael!" With a flourish, a name tag popped up for the clearly flustered man.

"So, you may be wondering, what the fuck am I doing? Well, I like to call this series 'Disaster Duo.'" Another flourish with the title. "Michael sucks at cooking, I don't, so we're going to cooking stuff. And, from this title as you can tell, some drinks as well. I mean, what better way to start Christmas with eggnog, everybody's favourite Christmas drink! Other...than...me!! Hah."

"I have no clue why I'm here. You could just, you know, do it by yourself," Michael grumbled.

Clarissa smacked Michael lightly and chuckled at him. "The YouTube community loves a sillily in love couple. Not that I'm profiting off of you but a girl's gotta do what she's gotta do!" Clarissa laughed. "I'm joking. Kind of. ANywAY," she said, clapping at the syllables. "Eggnog. Alcoholic eggs and milk. Because we suck, we're gonna follow a tutorial by the one and only Binging with Babish!" A photo of the [Binging with Babish Holiday Cocktails'](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LftLcYM6Fzw=) thumbnail popped up. "If you're as useless as this one," she pointed at Michael, "this is a super great tutorial of how to home make egg nog."

Michael sighed. "Why did I agree to this?"

"Because you love me," Claire giggled. "Now help me separate these egg yolks."

Michael resignedly (albeit lovingly) sighed. "I don't know how to do that."

"Figure it out, babe." She smiled innocently at Michael.

"Uh, fucking wow." He went over to a nearby computer and typed in something (presumably to google something) and watched a few videos. "What the actual fuck," he mumbled.

"Aw, look at how uselessly cute he is. What I'm gonna do over here is to get some milk really hot in preparation. I'm also gonna measure out some things, in case you're wondering." A montage flashed by, with [dream a little dream of me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bWxIOkLeQI) playing in the background.

At the end of the montage, the couple were leaned over the bowl. "Babe, what the fuck did you do?"

"I don't fucking know, babe. I told you, I suck at this."

There were about 5 different egg shells in the yolks. "Dude, I wasn't even this bad when I first did it at like the age of 12." Claire sighed and scooped out the eggshells.

"Now, we're gonna put the shittily cracked egg yolks into stand mixer. Hey, can you grab that cup of sugar?" 

"Huh? Oh, sure." Michael grabbed the cup.

"Ok, I'm gonna need you to s l o w l y pour in the sugar." Claire gestured at the rapidly beating whisk.

"I can do that, at least." Michael tilted the sugar cup lightly - and about half the sugar fell out before he realized and tilted it back as fast as he could.

Claire sighed. "Apparently not. Honey, you tried." She took the cup gently.

They stumbled through the rest, Michael taking a step back for every two steps Claire took forwards to the end result. There was a lot of 'WHat the fuCK, you did this wRONG', and laughter.

The end result was very nice, and they may (or may not) have gotten a little tipsy after Michael snuck a drink or two.

* * *

The camera was off, and the recording was over.

They were giggling at each other, still lightly drunk on the eggnog.

Michael kissed Claire on the lips, Claire tasting the light alcohol on his lips. She separated, taking in a breath of air. Michael had picked her up, and kissed her again. She gasped lightly, and Michael took the opportunity to slip in his tongue.

Claire moaned quietly around his tongue. Her fingers traced her back muscles, and his traced her back and her shoulder blades. He separated their mouths, and kissed sloppily along her neck. He nibbled and left light red marks (that Claire knew would probably show up tomorrow - she had concealer specifically for it).

"Mmm, babe, let's go to the bedroom," Claire murmured. Michael's arms flexed a little as he brought her to the bedroom. He placed her on the bed before running his hands gently down his sides and growled lightly.

"You're so pretty, baby." He lifted her shirt, and pressed kisses to her stomachs and sides, trailing and making her way up to her breasts. He continually pulled the shirt up.

"Arms up, baby girl." She moaned lightly before trying to swallow it down. "None of that, princess. Let me hear you." She could feel him grow harder as he ground up against her aroused pussy. Claire whimpered. Michael reached behind Claire and unclasped the bra. He kissed all the way up, and played and torturing her sensitive nipples gently. She continued to whimper lightly.

Michael's fingers began to work their way down her body, teasing her thighs with little pinches through her pants. He reached behind her soft ass and pulled down her pants, revealing a pair of soaked panties.

He chuckled. "Naughty girl."

Michael continued and placed kisses down her abdomen, further and further, until he had nearly gotten to her wet heat. Claire could feel herself grow wetter and wetter before the inevitable.

Michael chuckled again. "Look at how desperate you are. Soaking wet for me." Claire whined at his words. "Please, Michael, just eat me out."

He stopped abruptly and stood up. Michael was looking down on her and (confession time, it turned Claire on). "What was that you said?"

Claire whimpered. "I'm sorry, daddy. Please, just eat me out."

"You've been a very naughty slut today. I don't think you deserve to be eaten out, do you?"

Claire groaned. "No, I don't. Can I at least suck your dick?"

Michael chuckled darkly. "Now there's an idea I like. On your knees, baby."

Claire got off the bed, completely undressed, whereas Michael was almost completely clothed. He unbuttoned his jeans and pulled out his cock.

"Suck."

Claire obediently responded, and her plump lips wrapped around his dick. She licked lightly at the tip, swirling her tongue around, before going all the way down and fitting his entire cock in her mouth. Michael groaned. "So good at taking my cock, such a good baby girl."

She bobbed up and down, taking it in at every single time. She moaned around it, her throat clenching. Michael groaned, and grabbed her hair lightly, and came down her throat. She swallowed.

"Shit, you're so hot."

Claire got up, her knees and legs aching. "Mmm. Thanks, babe."

"I should be thanking you, baby."

They laughed softly, and kissed each other.

Claire and Michael clambered into bed, giggled, and kissed lightly again. 

"G'night, babe."

"G'night."

**Author's Note:**

> i'm gonna...go write some angst....and purge myself....


End file.
